Spring in South Carolina

Dear Pollen,
You are wreaking havoc on my newly renovated sinuses. You have created a visible yellow cloud around this city. The inch of accumulation covering absolutely everything is making me feel like I can't leave my house. I'm talking to you in particular maple. Everyone wants to go play outside in the glorious Spring weather, but instead we have all become prisoners of our homes. We are all miserable. I hope you are happy. Please leave.
Love,
Kelly

Girly Men

Dear Male Figure Skaters,
As far as I know, it is not a requirement to wear ruffles and glitter. Why do you insist on wearing costumes that make you look like pansies?? Figure skating is tough and takes a lot of strength and athleticism. Maybe if you dressed like a manly athlete, your sport wouldn't get such a bad rap. I'm just sayin' is all.
Love,
Kelly

Brrr

Dear Winter,
I'm tired of you. Please go away.
Love,
Kelly

Friday

Dear Friday,
I would like thank you for being an excellent day. Although, we got off to a rough start when you gave me a dream that led me to believe I had overslept. However, when Mark Wahlberg showed up, I knew it wasn't real. You then allowed me to have a quick Skype date with my wonderful Hubby who is very busy saving the world from terrorists. :) You blessed me with the presence of good friends at lunch and an enjoyable day at a job that I love.
The best part, you had good taste in music today. I was able to enjoy the vocal stylings of Wade Bowen, Radney Foster, Larry Stephenson, and Sean McConnell on the radio. Speaking of Sean (we're on a 1st name basis now), I FINALLY got my CD! I did have to go track it down at the Post Office, but I will look past that transgression this time.
Oh Friday, if you could pull off just a little more magic for me today I have a couple requests. First, since we were on the subject of the Post Office, if you could find my package of Christmas presents that I sent a month ago, I would really appreciate it. Lastly, could you give me something fun to do tonight besides watching a chick-flick and knitting in my pajamas? It's not that I don't enjoy knitting or movies or pajamas for that matter, I just feel like I should act a little bit more like the 25 year old that I am and less like the 65 year old that is inside of me. I don't want to push my luck, but I just thought I'd ask. Frankly, I'd be happy either way, but it would only take this day from excellent to Uh-mazing! Anyway, thanks again and keep up the good work.
Love,
Kelly

Follow Up

Dear Redskins,
Thank you for taking my advice and hiring Shanahan. Like I said before, he's good people. I'm very excited about this decision. Now, let's just work on that quarterback situation. I've got a good feeling about this.
Love,
Kelly

A Concerned Fan

Dear Redskins,

I think we need to have a little talk. I would really appreciate it if you could stop sucking so much. I'm not sure how much longer my heart can take having all my hopes of a win (especially against the Cowboys) shot down time and time again.

I know I am not qualified to give you advice, but I am going to give it anyway, and you are going to listen. You need a new coach. You are already taking care of that, but I would like to put in a request for Shanahan. He's good people. You also need a new quarterback. Jason Campbell just isn't cutting it. He just isn't. New coach, new quarterback, clean slate.

Now, I realize that I am cursed when it comes to sports teams. Every team I love and follow on television loses. I don't know what I did to anger the Sports Gods, but it must have been something big. You, the Aggies, and the Yankees. I know that you are asking yourself, "Kelly, don't you also like the Spurs?" Why, yes, yes I do, but I don't like watching basketball. There are a few exceptions to this, but that is for another time and place. I also realize the Yankees won the World Series this year, and that is because I did not watch them on TV. In previous years I have watched the Yanks, and I also slowly watched them go downhill. Once I stopped watching, they started winning. Now, I really would not like to have to stop watching sports altogether just to have my teams win. So, maybe, just maybe, you (as well as the other aforementioned teams) could start building up some immunity to my curse. I think it can be done. Where there is a will there is a way, right? I'm not asking you to win the Super Bowl next season, I know that is a long shot. I would just like to see you not embarrass yourselves, and preferably beat the Cowboys.

This was a good talk, I'm glad we had it. Now, let's get to work...Ready...Break!

Love,
Kelly

Lone Star

Dear Texas,
Thank you for being the greatest place on earth! You welcomed me back today with miles and miles of open road and an orange and purple sunset. It's good to be back to a place where there are access roads and turnarounds...where Shiner Bock flows like water...where people remember the Alamo...where the stars at night are big and bright. We are going to have some good times together this month, you and I. Texas, it's good to be home!
Love,
Kelly